PHOTOSHOP 101 : Photoshopping your face to fool THE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET.

March 1, 2011 § Leave a comment

Ok, so this entry stemmed from my GARGANTUAN HATE for people who don’t know how to liquify themselves and end up looking like some retard! :D And since I’m horribly bored right now, JENG JENG JENG HERE’S A TUTORIAL.

 

Firstly, you will need a picture of yourself! :3 And yes, I am no longer platinum blonde but half ash brown / half ash blonde because I’m embracing my inner-japanese HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Flaws here : Giant pimple on my right cheek (fml), yellow teeth and wonkey eyes thanks to my eyelids wtf.

1st Step : Open Photoshop! :D If you don’t know how even though you have this software, I will automatically assume that you’re a fucking retard or, a really spoilt child who’s a parasite to his/her parents.

2nd Step : Image > Adjustments > Curves. This is to tweak the exposure of the photo! And I’m sorry for the horribly small text, but wordpress has iffy image sizing requirements for posts! ):

3rd Step : See the line at the bottom right? It’s in the middle when you first see it so if you wanna look Japan/Korea (SUPER FLAWLESS SKIN WTF), pull it up so that the picture+your face IMMEDIATELY becomes brighter! :D Also, CANNOT SEE PIMPLE/SCARS WHEN YOU DO THIS LOL.

Step 4 : We’re gonna get rid of the yellowiness on the teeth now so zooooooooom all the way in! :D The zoom tool is the last icon on the left bar!

Step 5 : 4th icon on the left > Quick Selection Tool.

Step 6 : Select your teeth by manually adjusting the brush size on the top bar (indicated by the black dot.) The smaller the brush, the smaller the portion it’ll pick up.

Step 7 : Image > Adjustments > Selective Colour.

Step 8 : Select the Yellow colour.

Step 9 : Slide the yellow portion ALL the way down to -100% and say BYEBYE TO YOUR YELLOW TEETH AND HELLO COLGATE WORTH ONES.

Step 10 : See the difference? :D

Step 11 : If you want WHITER teeth, go back and adjust the curves! :D Remember to Ctrl+D when you’re done to de-select!

Step 12 : Next up, we’re gonna eliminate THIS MOTHERFUCKING PIMPLE WHICH REFUSES TO GO AWAY. This might be a cause of my constant bitching/gossiping with my friends. -_-

Step 13 : 7th icon on the left bar > Spot Healing Brush Tool.

Step 14: Select a brush size and ALWAYS ALWAYS keep Mode to NORMAL. DO NOT FORGET, YOU CAN FORGET THE ANSWERS TO YOUR EXAM OR SOME MATHS EQUATION BUT DO NOT FORGET THIS.

Step 15 : BYEBYE PIMPLE HA HA HA-HAHAHAHAHA. So fucking annoying, why do we humans have to endure having such monstrosities on our faces!? /goes off tangent.

Step 16 : Time to fix the wonky eye! :D Filter > Liquify.

Step 17 : Select the 5th icon and it is the MAGICAL BLOAT TOOL. Allows you to make ANYTHING larger! :D /I think this is how porn stars look so big UP THERE and DOWN THERE wtf.

Step 18 : Start pumping your eye to make it bigger! BIG LIKE KOREAN PEOPLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Step 19 : If you ever get too over-zealous like me and make your eye SUPER BIG, click tshe icon above (Bloat Tool) and recorrect!

Step 20 : The top icon is called the Forward Warp Tool which allows you to move stuff around! I “squeezed” my left eye because it looks more elongated next to the right! -_- /curse my genes.

Step 21 : If you want, bloat your jaw/cheeks/blahblahwhatever down! :D

AND YOU ARE ALL DONE! :DDDD HAHAHAHAHA HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS TUTORIAL AND THANKS FOR BEARING WITH THE HORRIBLY SMALL TEXT ON THE PHOTOS! T___T

Btw, this is what you’ll prolly look like if you go overboard! -___- Trust me, I’ve seen ahlians do WORSE THAN THIS!! This is srsly why I propose that the government either 1) Throws them into jail for wasting Singapore’s Resources or 2) Turns them into cheap dishwashers/toilet cleaners!

HAVE A GOOD DAY YA’LL! <3

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