A TYPICAL WEEKEND OUT WITH THE PARENTS!! YESSSS I DO GO OUT WITH THEM FOR YOUR FUCKING INFORMATION HAHAHAHA.

January 15, 2011 § Leave a comment

7:00am : Wake up and make a fuss bout how you have to wake up SO DAMN EARLY on a weekend. End up tripping over dog and having to apologise like crazy to an animal who can’t speak english.

7:05am : Literally ROLL into the bathroom and crawl into the bath-tub Sadako style.

7:20am : Finish bathing and roll back into the bedroom to make a lousy attempt to get ready.

7:40am : Finish fighting a never-ending battle with pimples and proceed to fry burn disintegrate dry hair.

7:44 am : Sit down and grumble whilst attempting to dry the thing on my head CALLED HAIR. Also, try not to accidentally sit on the hair-straightener.

7:58am : Burn finger with hair-straightener > Proceed to screaming and swearing like a motherfucking sailor.

8:00am : Go down and expect parents to go : HELLA 8:30AM THEN LEAVE HAOS WHY YOU COME DOWN but in reality, they go EH YOU DONE LIAO NEH MIND LET’S GO OFF NOW.

8:01am : Run back into room and throw on any accessories/shoes.

8:04am : Run to the car whilst trying to put on shoes. Praise self for being the ultimate multi-tasking ninja.

8:20am : Arrive at random-as-fuck coffee shop IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE and wait for the typical chinese-kopitiam ahpek to take orders.

8:24am : Watch as mum BLATANTLY ignores me whilst she obsesses over playing Angry Birds on her Iphone4! -_- And yes, that’s a heart shaped tattoo on her arm, OF ALL SHAPES WTF A PUSSY-LIKE-HELL HEART HAHAHAHA.

8:26am : Attempt to engage the father in meaningless conversation but he’s too busy/engrossed LOOKING AT HIS PURCHASED 4D NUMBERS. He then proceeds to ask bout school matters (Grades blahblahblah) and you plug in your earpiece to ignore him HAHAHA. (EH BUT I NEH PON SCHOOL SO OFTEN THIS SEM HOR.)

8:29am : Take random pictures of your surroundings and observe the typical bunch of LAO UNCLES~ huddling at a table whilst they discuss stupid issues in chinese newspapers. FUCK DO I SOUND SUPER RACIST TOWARDS PEOPLE MY RACE?!

8:35am : When your food FINALLY COMES, proceed to CRY OUT IN SHEEEEEER JOY and whip our your camera to take pictures! :D Completely ignore your parent’s disapproval (WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES?!) and steal their wantons out of rage.

9:00am : No wonder why the fuck it took so long to eat, BUT GET CHASED OUT OF THE COFFEE SHOP BY YOUR DAD HAHAHAHA. Roll back into the car and wait for them to take you to some random place. DON’T ASK QUESTIONS, YOUR FATHER IS EXTREMELY PISSED THAT A BIRD SHAT ON HIS CAR.

9:08am : Suddenly land up outside a temple and wince at the amount of homocidal stray cats lurking outside!

9:11am : Camwhore outside the temple with your mum WHILST IGNORING RANDOM PASSERBYS STARING AT US! :D (Hair bleach until so sui liao, MUST FASTER TAKE PHOTO BEFORE ROOTS SHOW.)

9:16am : Camwhore by yourself and blatantly ignore (WHY IS THERE SO MUCH IGNORING IN THIS POST HAHAHA.) your mum’s pestering for more camwhorage. (Mum : I WANT I WANT.)

9:18am : Camwhore even more with your mum and make a bet with her, WILL APPA CAMWHORE WITH US? THE WAGE DEAL IS 5 BUCKS, JUST ENOUGH TO BUY A CUP OF YAMI YOGHURT FROYO. (Can’t stand how act-cute she is in this photo HAHAHAHA.)

9:23am : Appa walks out of the temple…

9:25am : AND HE AGREEEES TO CAMWHOREE. 5 BUCKS IZ MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Btw, was all EH MUMMY YOU LOOK SUPER CHIO IN THIS PHOTO and she was all YAH LOR I NEARLY BECAME AN SIA STEWARDESS ETCETETCETC.

9:30am : Continue camwhoring EVEN MOREEEEEEEEEEEE.

9:32am : Roll back into the car and make an impromptu decision to BOMB MONEY AT THE SUPERMARKET! Have a heated discussion on which supermarket is better! -_- (SHENGSHIONG DAMN CHEAP, BUT THE QUALITY LIKE SAI YOU EAT SCULLY YOU GET CANCER.)

9:34am : Stare at camwhore photos and finally realize… WHY PEOPLE ASK IF I’M ADOPTED ALL THE TIME WTF.

9:41am : Reach Century Square and get hounded by a crazy security guard who asked if we were a genuinely-real family. FUCK OK I DON’T LOOK LIKE MY PARENTS MEH.

9:44am – 10:30am > Bomb 300sgd on groceries / Debate over which type of wine is better / Stare at anti-ageing products and hearing your mum claim that Thailand products will make your face rot / Force your Dad to buy you a box of cookies AND BAM. DONE.

10:30am – 10:41am > Help your mum unload groceries onto the “cashier-runway” and watch as your dad stands VERY APATHETICALLY in a corner! -_- But all is good FOR HE IS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING ANYWAYS HAHAHA.

10:41am – 11am > Miraculously manage to lug EVERYTHING home and run back to your room to sleep whilst the parents unpack everything. Ignore their cries for help and hope your brother goes down to help them!

FUCKYEAH WEEKENDS.

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